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wore more than eight years of marriage, and wanted to have a baby. Many attempts, many suffering many sacrifices, many disappointments. Year after year the same routine, the same doctors, the same hormones, the same treatments. Did not, and frustration invaded their souls.

ago

no more than a week gave me the good news. Finally going to be an aunt again, at last, the little princess of the family would have a cousin or a cousin. My sister had become pregnant.

Everything was going wonderfully, responded well to treatment and the pregnancy test was positive twice. Were again seen to smile and have hope. Something that seemed impossible at the end is going to perform.

Last Saturday we were eating together, my two brothers, my sisters, my nephews of which I spoke a couple of days, and my mother. We were celebrating the good news. We ate together, we enjoy the dwarf, joke with the names they were going to put the baby or babies, we know what can happen when using artificial insemination. I complained of being the only unmarried aunt, I was going to ruin this step, I am also very nanny maiden, and if my blood even more. We said goodbye happy, thinking that day five, it was her first ultrasound, we send, like every new parent does, the ultrasound by e-mail to the entire family, friends and other relatives.

This afternoon I have called the phone, I thought it very strange that I have called home. She was very serious, something had past. I asked if my mother with me and ask me as if I was, I went to the phone from one of the rooms and called home to his mother.

has undergone an abortion. On Saturday night he began to bleed profusely. It was not normal. Went to emergency and had to have the worst news she wanted to hear. Had undergone an abortion.

All doctors have told him they were going very well, and that is a possibility that we have all that we were pregnant women, even by natural means. What bad luck, she has touched. Have given hope after three cycles can start anew with the treatment and try again. To what is it I have noticed very full, but the blow to the entire family has been órdago.

All we had done and hopes to have one or two more dwarves running around the house. But hey, let's hope the next is that good. Never lose hope.

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year

Many times the silence is the best opinion .

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My quote of the day as sweet as she

When leaving work I went to the call from my brother. She was with her daughter and my mother drink at a cafe near my house.

Many evenings, if not almost all, try to make some room in my schedule to see the child. I'm his godmother, and I love it. At the time when I was born and I presented.

I arrived there, and through the glass I saw my mother sitting at a table, and my brother running after the girl who was hovering there. It is extremely restless. Not for.

open the door of the cafe, did not realize he had entered. I look at her, my brother winks and says, "run, look to see who comes." And turn around and see me unexpectedly, started hopping with joy and wine running towards me shouting, Dosamadilla!. My small stretch of cloth, with 19 months and not longer speak.

Every day I see I get the same joy. Comes running screaming my name and clings to my legs saying, upi, dosaamadilla, upi. I catch her in his arms, neck, embraces me and gives me a big kiss gordote as big as you can.

Every day I see your reaction I'm excited, but today is not that he has done in a manner so sweet, so tender, that reached me deep. Today I feel close to her, today I have felt in my heart more than any other day, today I noticed how your little breath touched my neck and her hands clung to my coat when I hugged her. Today was a special hug, kiss beautiful.

I want is my niece, and I love it. Is it that is unique is because it is the first that will not, but it's my passion.

Today I can say and claim that nothing is more beautiful than the sweet and innocent kiss a child.

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And finally the results.



Today was a day very afraid for me. After a year and some other annoyances, I returned back to review care. Fear was really afraid of what I could tell the doctor. "RosaAmarilla, the next time you need surgery, I want you to know that I'll have to empty" was the last thing I said last year.





wore since Dec. 13 with enough complaints, menstrual disorders (and I do not think the ad when they say they are happy in those days). All this, which I had to review, and certain circumstances of life had to be delaying the appointment, I was emparanoiando every day, thinking things I should not think, and making it cabals of calamities that should not have thought.





blood or breast ultrasound above the passenger seat, the music from the radio to keep me thinking cap on and road to go to the medical center. They are 30 miles to get there, that I was doing 200. Yes, I know, far away, but my doctor is confidence, which I was operated on twice, which is my record, and that only to look at me, knows what is happening to me.

I park the car, feet every time I weighed more. I'm close, the news will give me soon. There can be, this year I swore I was going to go well, and this may damage me.

I come to the clinic: "Hello RosaAmarilla, what are you feeling, better? Go annoyance the other day with the snow blocked the road and could not come, thank goodness we found you a little hole today to postpone the event without procrastinate a lot. Sit down, just two people in front. "

I took some notes to go exploring, you know what happens in consultations, you know when you date, but not when you are going to attend. The notes ... to make up, because I could not even touch. In the end I was entertained with a couple of babies who came after me, a pair of twins for a week, they were really cute. That must be nice motherhood.

Forty-five minutes later the doctor pronounce my name: "RosaAmarilla, passing reference."

Have you ever felt that feeling of being in front of a very long tunnel and at the bottom, deep down is a little light for you to arrive and never get it? Well that has happened to me, looked at the door of the consultation at the end of the hall and saw more and more away. "Glups, swallows RosaAmarilla, with forces and the bull."

"RosaAmarilla Hi, do you hit the snow, eh?"
"Yes, unfortunately I could not come."

"Well, do not worry, undressed from the waist down, and put on the table."

I ever wrote that ridiculous posture a woman can take when the colt's gynecologist. Digging, digging through the blog, and if you ever find it, pedídmelo and try to capture it.

Well, what we were after me rigor ultrasound, cytology of me, seeing my mammograms and tests, his comment was:

"Years ago I told you I did not want RosaAmarilla doing surgery again ... and still maintain the same opinion, we do not touch anything, but promise me you'll keep watching out. There I will see to within a year. "

results, a discrete state of fibrocystic breast disease, and a left endometrioma 25 x 13 mm. For now se quedan conmigo, dentro de mi, y si no dan mucha guerra espero que sea por años, que eso querrá decir que no han ido a peor. Yo le he prometido que voy a seguir cuidándome, con mi tratamiento hormonal, mis dietas, y mis pautas. Y ¡qué coño, a vivir la vida, que son dos días y hay que disfrutarlos!.

No olvideis ser felices.

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could start ...

¿Cómo volver a empezar a escribir después de tanto tiempo? Podría comenzar, ya que estamos a principios de año, con los nuevos propósitos, con las nuevas promesas, con los new goals for 2009.

could start by summarizing the harmful and happily past 2008, making a list of all those bad things that have happened, happened around me.

could write about all the things I do not want that to happen again and talking about the protection that should be taken so that this does not happen again.

could start ... but I will not start any of these ways, I will not do. This year began with the ideas clearer, more concise, more alert mind and open. I started with a "to take the ass in 2008!".

The 2009 will be much better, I do not care inclement pepper bring, that, unless something big, very big happens, here, who writes every day aims to smile a little, laugh a few minutes out of habit and sing while brushing my teeth when I sleep all night. Being negative does not get you anything, be positive it opens up a world of hopes, ideas and illusions.

As Seneca said it "an important part of healing is wanting to be cured." I would say now, and plagiarizing Seneca: "A part of happiness is to want to be happy"